Philly Sports Jabronis
There’s no escaping the local fan fever of Philadelphia sports when you grow up a South Philly girl, even if your greatest area of interest has been the style (and sometimes lack thereof) of the athletes and the uniforms they don. Who better than a local style guru to help a few Jabronis “dress up” their web site with some local sports style commentary from the female’s perspective?
In my first column, I evaluate the basic look of the uniforms for the Phillies, Flyers, Eagles and Sixers—accentuating the positives and pleading for change on the negatives.
The Phillies
Where We Win: Nothing says “boys of summer” like wearing white and red pinstripes while earning their “battle scars” with hardnosed play on the field. Typically, one might consider wearing dark clothing to hide any potential for the absorption of dirt, but a stain on a ball player’s uniform is more like a badge of honor and a turn on at the same time. No girl is going to be impressed or remember the sparkling-clean postgame player.
Where We Lose: The high socks (stirrups) that are pulled up over the pant legs. I know it’s a throwback, and in that sense may hold some charm, but as long as the pant length isn’t impeding movement, there’s no reason to make one’s legs his expression of style.
The Flyers
Where We Win: Few sports say “man” like hockey, and no article of clothing says “man,” like a V-neck collar, which echoes the shape of a finely-honed male physique and draws the eye … umm … down. Seasonally speaking, orange is also a very stylish color for when the Fly Guys take the ice (and is generally a popular color right now), meaning female fans can find tons of accessories to accompany their favorite team T-shirt and feel “dressed up” for the event.
Where We Lose: Incorporating some stripes is good, but getting too “creative” with them can be a faux pas. How in the name of design could anyone think the placement of a broad white stripe around someone’s stomach could be a good thing is beyond me. Is there a more surefire way to make even the slimmest of men look like they’re skating around a gut?
The Eagles
Where We Win: Not all men can get away with wearing tight-white pants that end at the knee, but with the definition that these dudes sport around, they get a pass in my book and then some! If there’s a straight woman out there who hasn’t checked out the way these guys look at the line of scrimmage, I don’t want to meet her. And that lace-up fly? That’ll keep you warm on a cold day at the stadium.
Where We Lose: Again, I have to give a thumb down to any high (white) socks. And, I’m sorry that the weather can sometimes be so brutally cold that a waist-bound hand warmer is required, but when I see those little pouches I think “fanny pack.” And when I think “fanny pack,” I think “old man.” Seriously, if it’s not bone-numbing cold, knock it off.
The Sixers
Where We Win: Going sleeveless is a look only a few guys can pull off without looking sleazy. But when you’ve got guns like most of these boys do, it’d be a shame to hide ‘em.
Where We Lose: The enormous shorts. I understand the need for mobility and to not feel like one is being exposed, but some of these guys are wearing the equivalent of the Puffy Shirt around their legs, flapping (and flopping) in the wind created by their running down the court. Oh, and the unembellished elastic waistband is so junior-high gym class.
Moving forward with this column, I’ll be critiquing the way individual players show off their personal sense of style. A lot of professional athletes are bringing their “A” game these days, so the competition is fierce. Let’s play ball, boys.
— Michelle Boyles is a well-established fashion blogger in Philadelphia, where she runs the popular blog, southphillyfashionista.com. Catch her weekly take on sports stylings here and check her out on Twitter @Phashionista.
